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How this Mary Oliver Poem Helped me Embrace the Ebb & Flow of Life.

(An Elephant Journal Article)

Image Credit: Google/

Ever since I moved to Canada last September to become fully independent, life has been challenging, shattering, exciting, and scary—all at once.

To say it has felt like an emotional rollercoaster is an understatement.

I continue to be doused by the rawness of emotions and the depth of philosophical revelations, which I never knew existed, or by those that I said I would never embrace or come to realize in my lifetime.

How wrong I was about many of my personal convictions. I lived my whole life trying to escape the imprisonment of my deep emotions, and to avoid fully feeling the pain and the suffering that I see within myself and in the world around me.

But as soon as apathy and nihilism came knocking at my door, I wished I could go back to feeling “a something,” “an anything”—for even an unpleasant emotion is still be better than feeling nothing.

This time, I didn’t run away from nothingness; I surrendered fully, allowing it to swallow me into its hollow abyss, while I sunk deeper and deeper into its embrace.

Perhaps, the meaning of life lies in its beautiful contradiction; in the constant push and pull of fully feeling and feeling nothing, and of abundant meaning and nihilism.

Read the rest on ElephantJournal.

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